Related:

• Bart+Lisa: Dad, dad! What did you bring? What did you bring?
  Marge: How did it go? Homer: Fine! [looks at Apu] Oh, I mean not good....
• Sanjay: I wish you'd come to my party, Apu. You could use some merriment.
  Apu: Listen, serving the customer is merriment enough for me....
• Last night, I dreamed I held you in my arms.
  -- Bart, Romancing the Comic, "Three Men and a Comic Book...
• Woods: Apu! Apu: Oh, the searing kiss of hot lead.
  How I've missed you! I mean -- I think I'm dying. -- "Homer and Apu...
• Apu: Poor Mister Homer. Could it be that my snack treats are responsible for his wretched health?
  Customer: I need some jerky. Apu: Would you like some vodka with that?...
• Troy: Apu living with the Simpsons?! It happened. And here's a scene you didn't see.
  Apu: I'm hoping you enjoy this movie. It made every Indian critic's top 400 list....
• Paul: Linda and I both feel strongly about animal rights.
  In fact, if you play "Maybe I'm Amazed" backwards, you'll hear a recipe for a really ripping lentil soup....
• Apu: Otto, do you know there's a small child inside your bus?
  Otto: [sees Bart] Ooh, good thing you warned me. I was on my way to Mexico!...
• on "Bite Back"] Kent: Apu, will you ever stop selling spoiled meat?
  Apu: No -- I mean, yes -- I mean -- uh oh. [sweats] [Apu turns off the TV] I think I come off very well....