Related:

• Hey, this is not a lending library. If you're not going to buy that thing, put it down or I'll blow your heads off.
  -- Apu, the Kwik-E-Mart clerk, in "Krusty Gets Busted", from The Simpso...
• Earlier this evening, the Springfield SWAT team apprehended the TV clown, who appears on a rival station, opposite our own Emmy award winning Hobo Hate.
  -- Scott Christian's news flash, "Krusty Gets Busted...
• Hand over all your money in a paper bag!" "Yes, yes, I know the procedure for armed robbery.
  I do work in a convenience store you know....
• Earth-to-Marge. Earth-to-Marge. I was there. The clown is G-I-L-L-T-Y.
  -- Homer, "Krusty Gets Busted...
• Yeah. Wait a minute. It's the guy from TV. My kid's hero.
  ..Cruddy...Crummy...Krusty the Clown! -- Homer Simpson Krusty Gets Busted...
• Q: Why did Bill Gates cross the road? A: To avoid the Department of Justice.
• Why did Douglas Hofstadter cross the road? To make this riddle possible.
• Why did the Chtorran cross the road? To eat everything on the other side.
• Why did the tachyon cross the road? Because it was on the other side.