Related:

• Hey, hey, this is not a lending library! If you're not going to buy that thing, put it down or I'll blow your heads off!
  -- Apu, "Krusty Gets Busted...
• Hand over all your money in a paper bag!" "Yes, yes, I know the procedure for armed robbery.
  I do work in a convenience store you know....
• Apu (Kwik-E-Mart clerk): "Haven't I seen you on TV somewhere before?
  Homer: "Nah, you have me confused with Fred Flintstone....
• Apu: You see, whether igloo hut, or lean-to, or a geodesic dome, There's no structure I have been to, which I'd rather call my home.
  When I first arrived, you were all such jerks, But now I've come to looooooove your quirks....
• Krusty: "Hey kids, who do you love?" kids: "Krusty!
  !" Krusty: "How much do you love me?" kids: "With all our hearts!...
• Why did the clown cross the road? To rob a Kwik-E-Mart.
  A new story behind that enigmatic half-joke after this commercial message....
• Apu: I've got to go down to the Kwik-E-Mart and I'm going to face my demon.
  Marge: Oh, that'll work out great! We're out of Lucky Charms....
• Woods: Apu, you saved my life. And as a small token of my appreciation, I got you your job back at the Kwik-E-Mart.
  Apu: Oh...oh, Mr. Woods, your -- Woods: But as for me, I'm off to battle aliens on a faraway planet....
• Inspector: Apu Nahasapeemapetilan, you have disgraced the Kwik-E-Mart Corporation.
  Apu: But, sir, I was only following standard procedure....