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Iran
Apu: Now, These Hot Dogs Have Been Here For Three Years.
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Apu: Now, these hot dogs have been here for three years. They are
strictly ornamental. There is only one bozo who comes in and
buys them.
Homer: But I eat... Oh.
-- Working at the Kwik-E-Mart, "Lisa's Pony"
Related:
Apu: You see, whether igloo hut, or lean-to, or a geodesic dome, There's no structure I have been to, which I'd rather call my home.
When I first arrived, you were all such jerks, But now I've come to looooooove your quirks....
Apu: I won't lie to you. On this job, you <will> be shot at.
[reveals his chest] Each of these bullet wounds is a badge of honor....
Apu, you can take this job and restaff it!
-- Homer quits his job at the Kwik-E-Mart, "Lisa's Pony...
Apu: He is the benevolent and enlightened president and C.
E.O. of Kwik-E-Mart -- and in Ohio, Stop-O-Mart....
Inspector: Apu Nahasapeemapetilan, you have disgraced the Kwik-E-Mart Corporation.
Apu: But, sir, I was only following standard procedure....
Homer: Oh, rancid meat attack! Stupid parasites. Is there no way I can find justice?
Kent: If you have a consumer complaint, just call this number -- Home...
Bart+Lisa: Dad, dad! What did you bring? What did you bring?
Marge: How did it go? Homer: Fine! [looks at Apu] Oh, I mean not good....
Homer: Marge, could we go in the other room? I did something last night I'm not proud of, and I don't want the kids to hear it.
Bart: Busted! Homer: [in the other room, explaining] I'll work from midnight to eight, come home, sleep for five minutes, eat breakfast, sleep six more minutes, shower, then I have ten minutes to bask in Lisa's love, then I'm off to the power plant, fresh as a daisy....
Apu: I can't lie to myself, you know. I _do_ miss my Kwik-E-Mart.
Lisa: Isn't there _anything_ you can do to get your job back?...