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• And now, with his picks for today's games, the man who's right 52% of the time, Smooth Jimmy Apollo!
  -- Brent Gunsilman hosts a football pre-game show, "Lisa the Greek...
• Well, sir, we're two hours and 45 minutes into the pre-game show.
  .. -- Brent Gunsilman hosts the Super Bowl pre-game show, "Lisa the Greek...
• Brent: We've got ourselvs a special guest, actor Troy McClure, whose new sitcom is premiering tonight, coincidentally enough, right after the game!
  Troy: Thanks, Brent. My new show is called `Handle with Care'....
• A monk sat with his three students. He took out his fan and placed it in front of him, saying, "Without calling it a fan, tell me what this is.
  The first said, "You couldn't call it a slop-bucket....
• Smithers: Have you ever painted the rich and powerful?
  Marge: Well, no. Just Ringo Starr. Burns: Ring-Go?...
• Football player: [being interviewed] This team is fired up.
  We came here to play! Homer: Aw right! [picks up the phone to place his bet] Lisa...
• Selma: Mr. Burns has been shot. Wiggum: Just a minute!
  This isn't Mr. Burns at all! It's a mask! [pulls at his face a little] Wait, it _is_ Burns....
• Lisa: My name is Lisa Simpson and I made a chart of all the suspects in the Burns case.
  Look! [holds up a card] Mr. Burns hurt all these people financially....
• Homer: Aren't parents supposed to encourage their kids whenever they show talent?
  Marge: But gambling is illegal! Homer: Oh, only in 48 states....