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• I hereby declare this day to be Snow Day, the funnest day in the history of Springfield!
  -- Diamond Joe Quimby, "Bart Gets an F...
• Quimby: Citizens of Springfield, I officially declare this.
  .. what the hell is that?! Skinner: Why, it's Lisa Simpson!...
• This is the uh most exciting thing to happen to our uh fair town since the Dalai Lama visited in 1952.
  And so, I hereby declare that Route 401, currently known as the Dalai Lama Expressway, will be henceforth be known as the Michael Jackson Expressway....
• We're twice as smart as the people of Shelbyville. Just tell us your idea, and we'll vote for it!
  -- Mayor Quimby, "Marge vs. the Monorail...
• Quimby: Very well. If that is the way the winds are blowing, let no one say I don't also blow.
  [dials phone] [scene shift to Bob leaving prison] By special order of the mayor of Springfield, you are hereby granted a full and complete pardon....
• An ordinance on the books in Flowery Branch, Georgia, read
  "Be it ordained, and it is hereby ordained, by the Mayor and Council of the Town ....
• Bart: Wow, Mom, I never pictured you as any kind of authority figure before.
  Homer: Marge, I want you to take care of yourself out there....
• Woman: I actually had some doubts about moving to Springfield, especially after that TIME cover story, "America's Worst City".
  Marge: [proudly] You could see our house in that photo!...
• A Simpson on a T-shirt. I never thought I'd see the day.
  .. -- Marge reacts disapprovingly to Homer's likeness on a T-shirt, "Dancin' Home...