Related:

• Bart: And then, he claimed he was the one who turned cats and dogs against each other.
  Why is he always making up those crazy stories?...
• Lisa: Why don't you go see Grampa? Bart: What can &l
  he> do? Lisa: He'll give you good advice. He's the toughest Simpson alive....
• Marge: You know, <we'll> be old someday. Homer: Gasp!
  My God, you're right, Marge! You kids wouldn't put me in a home like I did to my dad, would you?...
• Homer: You're home safe. Done my duty. See you the next time we need your signature.
  Abe: Aw, you never want to spend any time with me....
• Abe: He was right under my nose the whole time. He lives in my retirement home.
  His name is Malloy. Lisa: Wow! How'd you track him down, Grampa?...
• Homer: [on the phone with Bart] I'm bringing Michael Jackson home to stay with us for a few days.
  [aside] Isn't that cute, he's heard of you....
• Young man, since you broke Grampa's teeth, he gets to break yours.
  -- Homer's punishment for Bart, "Itchy and Scratchy: The Movie...
• Evacuator: Sir, for your own safety, we do advise you to evacuate.
  Grampa: I ain't leaving! I was born in this nursing home, and I'll die in this nursing home....
• Marge: And remember, every morning give one bowl of Kibble to Santa's Little Helper.
  Do you want me to write any of this down? Abe...