Related:

• with Reverend Lovejoy] Homer: Now I know I haven't been the best Christian.
  In fact, when you're up there yak-yak-yaking, I'm usually either sleeping or mentally undressing the female parishioners....
• Oh, no. What if they botch it? I won't have a dad-- for awhile.
  -- Bart realizes Homer needs a coronary bypass, "Homer's Triple Bypa...
• I'm out of the woods now, right? I mean, whatever doesn't kill me can only make me stronger!
  -- Homer recovers from a heart attack, "Homer's Triple Bypa...
• Bart: Any luck, Dad? Homer: No, but the rabbi gave me this.
  [spins a dreidel] Bart: What is that? Homer: Son, it's called a droodel....
• Abe: They say the greatest tragedy is when a father outlives his son.
  I have never fully understood why. Frankly, I can see an up-side to it!...
• Oy vey's mir! You have brought shame on our family!
  Oh, if you were a musician or a jazz singer, this I could forgive....
• Lisa: Excuse us, Rabbi Krustofsky? Rabbi K: Oh, what can I do for you, my young friend?
  Bart: We came to talk to you about your son. Rabbi K...
• Moe: Hey, Homer, I snuck you in a beer for old times' sake?
  Homer: Thanks, Moe. [drinks it] Moe: You know, Homer, that beer ain't free....
• Homer: I got a bad heart. Ned: Homer, if I could give you my heart, I would.
  Homer: Shut up, Flanders. -- The heart of Flanders? God forbid, "Homer's Triple Bypa...