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• If there's one thing America needs, it's more lawyers. -- Lionel Hutz, "Marge in Chai
• Ooh, he's going to win! -- Lionel Hutz observes the District Attorney, "Marge in Chai
• Hutz: Hutz is the name, Mr. Simpson. Lionel Hutz, attorney at law.
  Here's my card. It turns into a sponge when you put it in water....
• Ruth: [pointing] Look, you can see our houses. Marge
  Hmm. There's an awful lot of black smoke coming from my chimney....
• Gladys: "... and that has made all the difference." Now let's get down to business.
  [Hutz's voice on the tape] To my executor, Lionel Hutz, I leave $...
• Apu: [introducing himself] Apu Nahasapeemapetilon. Nigel
  Hmm. Never fit on a marquee, luv. From now on, your name is Apu de Beaumarchais....
• Is it true that your husband consumed a ten-pound bag of flour when no other food was available?
  -- The defense attorney cross-examines Marge, "The New Kid on the Block...
• Hi, I'm Lionel Hutz, executor of Gladys Bouvier's estate.
  She left a video will, so I earn my fee simply by pressing this "Play" button....
• Marge: And a bottle of aspirin. Apu: [holding a bottle that can't hold more than 10 tablets] The aspirin is $
  24.95. Marge: $24.95?! Apu: I lowered the price because an escaped mental patient tampered with the bottle....