A lawyer lies dying, his partner of 40 years by his bedside. "Jack,
I've got to confess. I've been sleeping with your wife for 30 years
and I'm the father of your daughter, Hillary. On top of that, I've
been stealing from the firm for a decade." "Relax," says Jack, "and
don't think another thing about it. I'm the one who put arsenic in
your martini."