Related:

• A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job.
  In the first room she said she would like a pale blue....
• The Painter A woman wants the inside of her house painted and she calls a contractor in to help her.
  They wander around the house, and she points out the colors she wants....
• My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby.
  Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's appointments....
• Valentine's Day Story John Blanchard stood up from the bench, straightened his Army uniform, and studied the crowd of people making their way through Grand Central Station.
  He looked for the girl whose heart he knew, but whose face he didn't, the girl with the rose....
• John Blanchard stood up from the bench, straightened his Army uniform, and studied the crowd of people making their way through Grand Central Station.
  He looked for the girl whose heart he knew, but whose face he didn't, the girl with the rose....
• Once upon a time there was a sperm named Stanley who lived inside a famous movie actor.
  Stanley was a very healthy sperm. He'd do pushups and somersaults and limber himself up all the time, while the other sperm just lay around on their fat asses not doing a thing....
• The ark lands after The Flood. Noah lets all the animals out.
  Says, "Go and multiply." Several months pass. Noah decides to check up on the animals....
• Jerk! Now get this. I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had to make.
  I found the number and dialed it. A man answered nicely saying, "Hello?...
• Various Nights Before Christmas... A Microsoft Christmas 'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house Not a creature was stirring, except Papa's mouse.
  The computer was humming, the icons were hopping, As Papa did last minute Internet shopping....