Related:

• The Canonical List of Telephone Answering Machine Messages "Hi!
  I don't exist at the moment, but if you leave your message, name and number, I'll call you back when I am....
• This is not an answering machine -- this is a telepathic thought-recording device.
  After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I'll think about returning your call....
• Answering machines. Nowadays almost everyone has one, complete with a snappymessage of their own device.
  Wait for the beep and then read on. This is a short adaptation of Simon Butler-White's and Clive Archer's "could-be" phone messages released in Australian Cleo, August 1989....
• One voice: I didn't expect an answering machine. Another voice
  Nobody expects an answrering machine. Our chief use is to get your name....
• Hello. This is Ron's answering machine, Marvin, and I'm *so* depressed.
  I have 50,000 times the memory capacity of my owner, yet all I get to do is answer the phone....
• Hi, you have reached .... Please leave your name, phone number and a message and if we like it we will return your call".
• Hello, this is Ron's toaster. Ron's new answering machine is in the shop for repairs, so please leave your message when the toast is done.
  .. (Cachunk!)...
• Hello, this is Ron's toaster. Ron's new answering machine is in the shop for repairs, so please leave your message when the toast is done .
  ... {Cachunk!}...