Related:

• beep, beep, beep> The number you have reached, Seven.
  Six. Seven. One. Two. Three. Four. [Use your number here....
• Hello, epicenter of the Universe, God speaking. If you leave your name, number, and prayer after the tone, I will call you back as soon as I can.
  Please note that I answer all prayers, but sometimes the answer is NO....
• At the sound of the tone, you will be charged $10 for the first minute and $
  2 for each additional minute. Please leave your name, phone number and a message....
• Hi, you have reached .... Please leave your name, phone number and a message and if we like it we will return your call".
• The Canonical List of Telephone Answering Machine Messages "Hi!
  I don't exist at the moment, but if you leave your message, name and number, I'll call you back when I am....
• Very fast:) Hi, this is 904-4344. If you want to leave a message, please wait for the tone.
  If you want to leave your name and number, please press pound, press 3, then dial your name, then press 6 and dial your number....
• My answering machine reads, with spooky music in the background, or Bach's Toccata and Fugue in D minor, "Hello.
  You have reached xxx-xxxx,otherwise known as the epicenter of the universe....
• imitating Mr. Rogers] "Hello. I'm in the Magic Kingdom right now, so I can't come to the phone.
  Can you leave your name and number when you hear the sound of the tone?...
• In Japan, the hand can be used like a knife. [sound effec
  Heeeeee-YAH!, smashing box of kleenex] But this method doesn't work with a telephone call....