The Top 15 Signs It's Time To Abandon Your Space Station 15> Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner, Every Day -- Van DeCamp's Pork-and-Beans-in-a-tube.

The Top 15 Signs It's Time To Abandon Your Space Station 15> Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner, Every Day -- Van DeCamp's Pork-and-Beans-in-a-tube.

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The Top 15 Signs It's Time to Abandon Your Space Station

15> Breakfast, lunch & dinner, every day -- Van DeCamp's
Pork-and-Beans-in-a-tube.

14> "Dear Dmitri: We at Mutual of Kazakhstan regret to inform you
of the cancellation of your insurance policy..."

13> Ship's computer calmly says, "I don't know what air leak you're
talking about, Comrade Dave."

12> The Benetton and the Starbucks were bad enough, but that new
yuppie cigar bar is really stinkin' up the place.

11> Ever since Joel left the show, it just hasn't been as funny.

10> Latest addition to the onboard crew? Some French guy who
brought 200 cartons of cigarettes.

9> Mission Control announces they're going to attempt a tricky
docking maneuver with the Space Shuttle Kevorkian.

8> Space station's warranty expired 3,834,621 miles ago.

7> Tang and Stoli screwdrivers have lost their kick.

6> The damage is repairable, but ever since the collision, "Comrade
Wussky" has been shrieking nonstop.

5> After several days of low oxygen, you're starting to give
serious consideration to Cosmonaut Andrei's offer to join the
"Hundred Mile High" club.

4> It's down to just you and Sigourney Weaver.

3> Old ladies swatting at you with rakes from their roof tops.

2> Spice Girls on the holodeck.

and the Number 1 Sign It's Time to Abandon Your Space Station...

1> That last little collision not only set off the emergency
warning, it ruined the last of your clean boxer shorts.

This list copyright 1997 by Chris White and Ziff Davis, Inc.
The Top Five List top5@walrus.com http://www.topfive.com

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