Toggle navigation
Collections
Fun
Jokes
Fortune
Photo
Nicknames
Blog
ﻮﺑﻻگ
Iran
Signs Your Execution Isn't Going Well 15> The Poison Gas Is Bad Enough, But Pumping Laughing Gas Into The Audience Chamber Is Just Plain Cruel!
Home
›
Short Jokes
›
Funny Jokes
Signs Your Execution Isn't Going Well
15> The poison gas is bad enough, but pumping laughing gas into the
audience chamber is just plain cruel!
14> The anti-capital punishment demonstrators are carrying signs
reading, "Okay, but just this once."
13> Wacky guards post sign outside your cell: "Elevation -6"
12> At the last minute, the governor calls, but only to ask if you
have Prince Albert in a can.
11> They assure you "Old Sparky" isn’t acting up, but still arrange
burgers on your head.
10> Firing squad of Ted Nugent, Charlton Heston, and Barry Switzer
replaced by Elmer Fudd, Wile E. Coyote, and Yosemite Sam.
9> That burning smell doesn't mean they ruined the Steak Tartare,
Chester.
8> The electric chair operator asks you to turn over so they can
do the other side.
7> Guitar-carrying executioner says not to worry, he'll be
"killing you softly" with his song.
6> You wake to a muffled voice saying, "Let's get the dirt back
in there and call it a day!"
5> Supreme Court Golf Tournament scheduled for day of your
execution.
4> The jolt from the electric chair only manages to give you
"Don King hair."
3> In the viewing room, Martha Stewart's gingerbread electric
chair cookies are getting more attention than you are.
2> Despite what the paperwork says, there's apparently no such
thing as "Lethal Erection."
and the Number 1 Sign Your Execution Isn't Going Well...
1> Your kicky new sundress? Ruined!
This list copyright 1997 by Chris White and Ziff Davis, Inc.
The Top Five List top5@walrus.com http://www.topfive.com
Related:
The Top 15 Signs It's Time to Abandon Your Space Station 15> Breakfast, lunch & dinner, every day -- Van DeCamp's Pork-and-Beans-in-a-tube.
14> "Dear Dmitri: We at Mutual of Kazakhstan regret to inform you of the cancellation of your insurance policy....
The Top 19 Signs Your Psychic Is a Phony 19> Keeps shaking black "crystal ball," then saying, "Ask again later.
18> Tells you you're going to die but doesn't exactly know when or how....
The Top 16 Signs You Hired The Wrong Fireworks Expert 16> Business card reads, "Sponsored by St.
Luke's Burn Unit." 15> His degree, from the Wile E....
The Top 15 Signs You're Attending a Bad Law School 15> Materials needed for Torts 101 include a baking sheet and apron.
14> Morely Safer and his camera crew are on campus more often than you are....
What's the difference between a banjo and a(n)... Chain Saw
( 1.) a chain saw has a dynamic range. ( 2.) you can turn a chain saw off....
Least Popular Philosophical Questions (Part I) 15> Given an infinite number of geeks in an infinite number of Star Trek conventions, would there be at least one with a life?
14> Why is Pauly Shore so successful, while a deserving and talented actor like Tom Arnold is still struggling?...
The Top 15 Signs You're at a Bad National Park 16> The only pictures Ansel Adams took of it were from inside the women's shower.
15> Joe Camel subbing for vacationing Smokey the Bear....
Signs a Romance Novel has been Plagiarized 15> Hero rips open heroine's bodice and gasps, "Bosoms are like a box of chocolates.
You never know what you're going to get." 14> Book after book, the same plo...
Barry Scheck is Losing It (The infamous Mr.
Scheck is the attorney representing the famous "British nanny," and was also a member of O....