16> Failure to "perform" in front of congress much more
humiliating than failure to perform with Mrs. Starr.
15> "Abuse of running shorts" is not an indictable offense.
14> The Sangria-induced rantings of Al D'Amato do not make the
strongest basis for an investigation.
13> JFK shot himself.
12> The most damning piece of evidence is that both Bill and
Hillary Clinton previously were *lawyers*.
11> "It is amazingly easy to get money from a Republican Congress
to go on an unfounded witch-hunt against their political
enemies. Oh, wait, did I say that out loud?"
10> The tubbier they are, the harder they fall.
9> Hillary's botched cosmetic surgery should have been a breast
enlargement and hip reduction.
8> There's no ancient Chinese secret - Its Calgon!
7> Colonel Mustard, Miss Scarlet, Professor Plum, and Mrs.
Peacock all did it in the Lincoln Bedroom with a contribution.
6> Since the President entered office in 1992, Chelsea’s
allowance has tripled.
5> For the last five years, the Clintons have been living rent-free
in a federal building in Washington, D.C.
4> It's official: Janet Reno is butt ugly.
3> Clinton tried to replace Arkansas state police with
"Trooperettes."
2> In Arkansas, El Caminos are chick magnets.
and the Number 1 Finding from Kenneth Starr's Investigations...
1> George Washington was a "tree cuttin' bastard."
This list copyright 1997 by Chris White and Ziff Davis, Inc.
The Top Five List top5@walrus.com http://www.topfive.com
