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• Old TV Show Plots Updated for the 90's (Part I) 15> "Gidget Dot Com" -- Jenny McCarthy stars as Gidget the world-famous Webmistress and part-time model.
  14> "The Love Boat" -- Doc sells Isaac's and Gopher's kidneys to pay for his new girlfriend's crack habit....
• What's the difference between a banjo and a(n)... Chain Saw
  ( 1.) a chain saw has a dynamic range. ( 2.) you can turn a chain saw off....
• New Additions to the Graceland Tour 15> "Sit On the Throne Where The King Died" photo booth 14> In-house theme restaura
  The Last Chili Donut" 13> Animatronic Elvis collapses in the bathroom every 5 minutes 12> "Aron" or "Aaron" live debate with G....
• When I was in a six person suite of rooms, one of my room mates was a witch, and by coincidence, another room mate had a key to his room.
  One night the witch room mate returned to find that all six calendars in his room were set to October, and there was a pentagram of pencils on his desk....
• Ways to Commit Suicide After the Stock Market Crash 16> Sit under Hong Kong Finance Minister's window.
  Wait. 15> Rub together the two pennies you still have left to create a spark to ignite the alcohol vapors emanating from you....
• Bad Romance Novel Opening Lines (Part II) 15> "Hers was a dark and stormy loin.
  14> "The T. Rex stopped to stare at the female, its tawny pecs rippling in the dappled light....
• How about that footage on the news yesterday of our new Commander-in- Chief on the deck of the aircraft carrier (Teddy Roosevelt?
  ).. After throwing one of his snappy salutes (he's *almost* got that down), I half expected him to give the order, "Let's turn this thang around....
• The Top 15 Signs It's Time to Abandon Your Space Station 15> Breakfast, lunch & dinner, every day -- Van DeCamp's Pork-and-Beans-in-a-tube.
  14> "Dear Dmitri: We at Mutual of Kazakhstan regret to inform you of the cancellation of your insurance policy....
• Feeling Old Today? Each year, the staff at Beloit College in Wisconsin puts together a list to try to give the faculty a sense of the mindset of that year's incoming freshmen.
  Here's this year's list: 1. The people who are starting college this fall across the nation were born in 1980....