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• Old TV Show Plots Updated for the 90's (Part II) 15> "Lassie" -- Timmy falls down the old well, bringing a CNN news crew and a dozen benefit concerts before Lassie can even say, "Woof".
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• Famous Last Words 15> "C'mon ya wimps, one more beer, it's open ocean out there, what're we gonna hit?
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• The Top 15 Attractions at Michael Jackson's Amusement Park in Poland 15> The Jackson Siblings' Career Slide!
  14> Kid Who Played Webster Petting Zoo 13> The Rusty Antique Moonwalk 12> The "Now Hold On Real Tight" Ride 11> The Hall Of Elizabeth Taylor's Ex-Husbands 10> Sign at park entrance which says, "You must be at least this young to enter....
• The Top 15 Least Useful Technologies of the Future 15> ASCII IMAX theaters 14> ChocoAlchemy -- converts "Yoo Hoo" to "Nestle's Quik" 13> "Mr.
  Scratchy" Self-Adjusting Cup for Major League Ballplayers 12> New wraparound 12 TV picture tube engineered for optimal TNN line-dancing display 11> Pod bay doors 10> The "I Can't Believe It's Not Tofu!...
• The Top 16 Plays Shakespeare Chose Not to Publish 16> Christopher Marlowe Can Kiss My Elizabethan Ass 15> Henry VIII
  I Am, I Am 14> Fast Times at Verona High 13> A Midsummer Night's Nocturnal Emission 12> Om'let 11> Love's Fing'r Pulled 10> Romeo & Steve 9> Twelfth Night, Children Stay Free 8> Felines 7> Henry VIII was a Big Fat Idiot 6> Six Degrees of Francis Bacon 5> Stratford-upon-Avon 90210 4> Hamlet II - Where the hell is everybody?...