10. "Honky-Tonk Women and Grumpy Old Men"
9. "We Live Through the Concert or Your Money Back" *
8. "Come See What Hanson Will Look Like in the Year 2097"
7. "Hurry Before Keith Richards Lapses Into a Coma"
6. "Half-Price Off If You're Mick Jagger's Illegitimate Child"
5. "And You Thought Aerosmith Was Old"
4. "Hearts Full of Song and Teeth in a Glass"
3. "It's Like Metamucil For Your Ears"
2. "Where Else Can You See Bob Dole in a Mosh Pit?"
1. "Under 45 Not Admitted Without a Parent"
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