Related:

• On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically imposed midwinter festival, my Significant Other in a consenting adult, monogamous relationship gave to me
  TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual drumming, ELEVEN pipers piping (plus the 18-member pit orchestra made up of members in good standing of the Musicians Equity Union as called for in their union contract even though they will not be asked to play a note), TEN melanin deprived testosterone-poisoned scions of the patriarchal ruling class system leaping, NINE persons engaged in rhythmic self-expression, EIGHT economically disadvantaged female persons stealing milk-products from enslaved Bovine-Americans, SEVEN endangered swans swimming on federally protected wetlands, SIX enslaved Fowl-Americans producing stolen non-human animal products, FIVE golden symbols of culturally sanctioned enforced domestic incarceration, (NOTE...
• DEAR (Your Choice) I have been watching you very closely to see if you have been good this year, and if you are, I will have some special treats for you this year at XMAS.
  I cannot promise you all the gifts from the twelve days of XMAS this year as the twelve fiddlers have all come down with the clap from fiddling with the ten ladies dancing....
• What's the difference between a banjo and a(n)... Chain Saw
  ( 1.) a chain saw has a dynamic range. ( 2.) you can turn a chain saw off....
• There was this young boy coming of age and his father wanted to show him the facts of life.
  So he gave him 20 bucks and sent him down to the local brothel to have a good time....
• 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS (CAJUN STYLE) Day 1: Dear Boudreaux, Thanks for de bird in de Pear tree.
  I fix it las' night with dirty rice. I doan tink de pear tree will grow in deswamp, so I swap it for a Satsuma....
• THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS On the first day of Christmas, my kitten ruined for me.
  ....... A batch of my special hand-print cookies....
• POLITICALLY INCORRECT DEFINITIONS OF WHAT BILL CLINTON'S REALLY SAYING What he says.
  ...........................What he means ----------------------------------------------------------------------- "My fellow citizens"....
• The ark lands after The Flood. Noah lets all the animals out.
  Says, "Go and multiply." Several months pass. Noah decides to check up on the animals....
• How many accountants does it take to change a light bulb?
  (Whispering voice:) "What do you WANT it to be?" How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?...