10. Has been covering up the fact that Janet Reno is his identical
twin brother
9. Made hilarious prank fundraising calls under the name "Jerky Al"
8. Before Cabinet meetings, always gets, like, really baked
7. Has thirty pounds of plastic explosives taped to his body at
all times
6. Uses White House phones to run service called "1-900-HOT-VEEP"
5. Leaves Big Macs all around Oval Office in hope that President
Clinton will eat himself to death
4. During campaign, spread rumor that Dole was old, when in fact
he's only 36
3. On the night of March 12, at approximately 8:15 PM, he blinked
2. According to Tipper, he's not nearly as stiff as everyone thinks
1. He's the real father of Michael Jackson's baby
