10. You're the only speed skater sponsored by Prozac.
9. You break both ankles while lacing up your skates.
8. While others "Go for the Gold" you go for the free buffet.
7. You've got as much chance of passing the drug test as Robert
Downey Jr.
6. Triple Lutz? No. Triple bypass? Yes!
5. Your bobsled is crammed with carry-on luggage.
4. McDonald's manager says, "Sorry, Ms. Harding, you can't have
the week off." *
3. Before your event you stay at a Karaoke bar till 4 AM singing
"Afternoon Delight."
2. There's no Olympic event for ski-jumping dogs.
1. Your ice dancing partner is inflatable.
Social Engagements
You stay by her side the entire party 0
You stay by her side for a while hen leave to chat
with a college drinking buddy -2
Named Tiffany -4
Tiffany is a dancer -6
Tiffany has implants -8
When mingling, you hold your mate's hand and gaze at her lovingly +1
When mingling, you introduce her as "the old ball and chain"
and pat her on the rump -5
When she points out a hot-looking woman and asks if you think
she's pretty, you say, "Yes, but nowhere near as pretty as you" +1
When she points to a woman and asks if you think she's pretty, you say,
"Yeah, but don't worry, she's lousy in bed" -6
That woman is her sister -90
You have one drink, and that's it 0
You have more than a few and perform the tango with a poodle....
