Women Seeking Men
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I like driving around with my two cats, especially on the freeway.
I make them wear little hats so that I can use the carpool lane. Way
too much time on your hands too? Call me. SWF, 42, 5'10", brown/blue.
SWF, 27, obnoxious, silly, pierced, tattooed, insane, hormonally
unbalanced, rollerblading, sushi-eating, cartoon-watching redhead
from Hell, seeks Vlad. My neck is all yours. BITE ME.
Don't call me if you are uneducated; unemployed; unhealthy smoker;
felon; under 30 years old, 5'10"; over 40 years old, 6'8", 230
pounds; like cats, channel surfing; make less than $30,000 annually;
or have body parts pierced. Others feel free.
Men Seeking Women
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Fat, flatulent, over-40, cigar-smoking redneck seeks sexy woman with
big hair to cook, clean and pick up unemployment checks.
[Editor's Note: I thought Al Bundy was a fictional character?]
Desperate lonely loser, SWM, 32, miserable, apathetic, tired of
watching TV and my roommate's hair fall out. Seeks depressed,
unattractive SWF, 25-32, no sense of humor, for long talks about the
macabre.
Handsome DWM, 40, seeks loving, romantic S/DWF with round, bulging
bubble butt and pretty face with monogamous intentions, 28-40.
Thick glasses, HP calculator, SAT 99th percentile, knows pi to 16
digits. Great job, big house, pool. SWM, 33, 6'0", 144 lbs. Better
looking than Bill Gates.
