10. Stop drinking in the den, start drinking on the porch
9. Catch every Lollapalooza show on the Eastern seaboard
8. Climb the treacherous north face of Al Roker
7. Buy a summertime straw hat for my pet goat, Lorraine
6. Start my own website: www.Oprah-forever.com
5. Eat some bad shrimp and spend July face-down in the driveway
4. Make my annual pilgrimage to Dollywood
3. Realize dream of becoming first man to drive cross-country
on a riding mower *
2. A can of paint, a six-pack of Miller, and Farrah
1. Take down the Christmas lights
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