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• If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering.
  Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that....
• Pizza Pranks 1. Press random numbers while giving order (touch-tone phone), and ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.
  2. Tell the order taker that you have a rival pizza place on the other line, and you're going with the lowest bidder....
• Thank you for calling 434-2322. If you wish to speak to Tim, push 1 on your touch tone phone now.
  If you wish to speak to Lynn, push 2 on your touch tone phone now....
• Thank you for calling XXX-XXXX. If you wish to speak to Tim push 1 on your touch tone phone now.
  If you wish to speak to Lynn push 2 on your touch tone phone now....
• The Physicists' Bill of Rights We hold these postulates to be intuitively obviou
  hat all physicists are born equal, to a first approximation, and are endowed by their creator with certain discrete privileges, among them a mean rest life, n degrees of freedom, and the following rights which are invariant under all linear transformatio...
• Signs Your Driving School Instructor is Nuts 16> Claims "road rage" was his idea.
  15> Touch his dashboard Jesus? Ride home in the trunk....
• You have to read the whole thing: The following is from a 1950's Home Economics textbook intended for the High School girls, teaching how to prepare for married life.
  1. Have dinner ready: Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal - on time....
• Signs You're at a Bad McDonald's 10. Your "Quarter Pounder" has a long, thin tail.
  9. The kid serving you has grill marks on his forehead....
• 10 things men know about women: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10.