New Policy, Effective Immediately
In the past we have been permitted to make trips to the toilet without any
formal guidelines. With immediate effect a "toilet policy" will be
established to provide a more consistent method of accounting for each
associate's time, thereby ensuing effective time management and equal
treatment of all associates. On the first day of every month all associates
will be issued with 20 toilet trip credits. These credits may be
accumulated.
Within two weeks the entrance doors to all toilets will be equipped with
"personal identification stations" and will have computer linked voice
recognition devices. Before the end of the month each associates must
provide two copies of the voice prints (1 normal and 1 under stress) to
Management. The voice print recognition stations will be operative, but not
restrictive for the rest of the month. Associates should acquaint themselves
with the operations of the stations during this period.
Once the associate's toilet trip bank reaches zero, the doors of the toilet
will not unlock for the associate's voice until the 1st of the following
month. In addition, all cubicles are to be equipped with time paper roll
retractors. If the toilet is occupied for more than 3 minutes, an alarm will
sound. 30 Seconds after the alarm sounds, the roll of toilet paper will
retract into the dispenser, the toilet will flush and the door will open
automatically.
If the toilet remains occupied, a photograph will be taken by a security
camera. The picture will be posted on the "Toilet Offenders Board". Anyone
whose photograph appears three times will immediately forfeit 3 month's
toilet trips credits. Anyone caught smiling when their photograph is taken
will be required to undergo counseling by a clinical psychologist.
If you have any questions about this policy, confer with Management.
All staff should be advised that the Workman's Compensation Insurance does
not cover any injuries incurred whilst trying to stop the toilet paper
retracting into the dispenser.
