Kids Say the Darndest Things
(Young Wisdom - Out of the Mouths of Babes)
A three-year-old went with his dad to see a litter of kittens. On returning
home, he breathlessly informed his mother there were two boy kittens and two
girl kittens. "How did you know?" his mother asked. "Daddy picked them up
and looked underneath," he replied. "I think it's printed on the bottom."
*****
Another three-year old put his shoes on by himself. His mother noticed the
left was on the right foot. She said, "Son, your shoes are on the wrong
feet." He looked up at her with a raised brow and said, "Don't kid me, Mom.
I KNOW they're my feet."
*****
On the first day of school, the Kindergarten teacher said, "If anyone has to
go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers." A little voice from the back of
the room asked, "How will that help?"
*****
A mother and her young son returned from the grocery store and began putting
away the groceries. The boy opened the box of animal crackers and spread
them all over the table. "What are you doing?" his mother asked. "The box
says you can't eat them if the seal is broken," the boy explained. "I'm
looking for the seal."
*****
Can people predict the future with cards? My mother can. Really? Yes, she
takes one look at my report card and tells me what will happen when my
father gets home.
*****
A father was reading Bible stories to his young son. He read, "The man named
Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife
looked back and was turned to salt." His son asked, "What happened to the
flea?"
*****
A four-year-old girl was learning to say the Lord's Prayer. She was reciting
it all by herself without help from her mother. She said, "And lead us not
into temptation, but deliver us some e-mail. AMEN."
W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l <
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was
writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that
he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the
window, and smash your face into the front fender?...