Ways to Tell If You Have PMS:
** Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
** You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelette.
** The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
** Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
** You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumpersticker that
says, "How's my driving- call 1-800-###-####.
** Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.
** Inanimate objects get on your nerves.
** You're counting down the days until menopause.
** You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
** The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.
** You dump the pretzels out of the bag, and eat the salt.
** While simultaneously eating a gallon of ice cream.
** You cry at commercials one minute, and contemplate assault the next.
