We don't take security sitting down here. That's why we've developed
the patented "buttprint" authorization scheme. It consists of a
simple keyboard on top of a chair. Password sharing, writing down of
passwords, and watching others' keystrokes as they type in their
passwords are worries of the past!
By using "bump and grind" techniques developed during the disco era of
the 1970s, subjects were able to create unique "signatures" that would
thwart the usual after hours plaster cast on the office furniture
print stealing. Extended TERMCAP/TERMINFO databases,
BUTTCAP/BUTTINFO, eliminate the need for the user to go on various
diets to adjust to different sized keyboards.
Buttprint technology has also found an application in the coinless,
cardless, pay toilet. The user is given 15 seconds to validate
before an ejection arm makes way for the next customer.
What does "Bones" McCoy say before he performs brain surgery (sic) on a blonde?
"Space. The final frontier."
Locked: 50 yards to the next outhouse
- written by Kenny du Witt
illustrated by Betty Kent
"Toll's Toy" by Warren Pees
Not Welcome - written by Isadore O'Penn
illustrated by Doris Locht
Trail in the sand by Peter Draggon
The open kimono by Seemore Hair
Despite the fanfare of yesterday's new technology announcement, ButtPrint
Technologies must now regretfully inform our customers of an unforeseen
security vulnerability in our ButtPrint I Computer User Authorization
System, and ButtPrint II Coinless Pay Toilet....
Despite the fanfare of yesterday's new technology announceme ButtPrint
Technologies must now regretfully inform our customers of an unforeseen
security vulnerability in our ButtPrint I Computer User Authorization
System, and ButtPrint II Coinless Pay Toilet....
