in the mid-80s, there were 2 rich men who were constantly arguing over the
purpose of the head on a man's penis. one man insisted that it was for the
pleasure of the man, and the other insisted that it was for the pleasure of
the woman.
finally, they decided that they would fund research teams to settle the issue.
the first team, from france, came back after 6 months and $600,000. the
results of the study proved conclusively that the head of the penis was
for the pleasure of the woman.
the first man would not believe this. so they funded another team from
italy. 3 months and $300,000 later, they came back with a study that said
that the head of the penis was definitely for the pleasure of the man.
they decided that a third team would decide the matter and they chose some
good old boys with real american know-how.
5 minutes and $5 later, the good old boys came back and stated:
"the head of the penis is to keep your hand from slipping off."
How about the smart ass who runs his hand over your bald spot and sez:
"Ooohhhh How Smooooth. It feels like my wife's ass!"
To which you respond by running your hand over it and saying,
"Hey! Yeh, you're RIGHT!"
Who is the most popular male at a nudist colony?
The one who can carry a dozen donuts and two pots of coffee.
Who is the most popular female at a nudist colony?
The one who can eat the last donut.
What do you call a guy with no arms or legs who can play 5 musical
instruments?
Stump the band.
We don't take security sitting down here. That's why we've developed
the patented "buttprint" authorization scheme. It consists of a
simple keyboard on top of a chair. Password sharing, writing down of
passwords, and watching others' keystrokes as they type in their
passwords are worries of the past!
By using "bump and grind" techniques developed during the disco era of
the 1970s, subjects were able to create unique "signatures" that would
thwart the usual after hours plaster cast on the office furniture
print stealing. Extended TERMCAP/TERMINFO databases,
BUTTCAP/BUTTINFO, eliminate the need for the user to go on various
diets to adjust to different sized keyboards.
Buttprint technology has also found an application in the coinless,
cardless, pay toilet. The user is given 15 seconds to validate
before an ejection arm makes way for the next customer.
W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l <
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was
writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that
he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the
window, and smash your face into the front fender?...