Related:

• A little old lady goes into the Chase Manhattan Bank, and says she wants to open a savings account.
  The accounts person asks her how much she would like to deposit to open the account and the little old lady says, "Three million dollars....
• The Poles have a saying about how communist governments rewrite history
  "Only the future is certain; the past is always changing" A would-be bandit failed because he had written a holdup up note on another bank's withdrawal slip....
• A man was very shy, and couldn't speak to more than two people at a time without getting nervous.
  His boss and wife both suggested that he take an Andrew Carnegie course....
• Why to not buy Madonna's Lingerie: 10> Far to thin to cost that much 9> Twisted guys wear it more often than girls 8> You don't want to buy that stuff from anyone wearing road pylons on her chest!
  7> God knows where her hands have been... 6> God knows where SHE'S BEEN!...
• The ark lands after The Flood. Noah lets all the animals out.
  Says, "Go and multiply." Several months pass. Noah decides to check up on the animals....
• When I was in a six person suite of rooms, one of my room mates was a witch, and by coincidence, another room mate had a key to his room.
  One night the witch room mate returned to find that all six calendars in his room were set to October, and there was a pentagram of pencils on his desk....
• Proof By Intimidation ----- -- ------------ A Horse has an infinite number of legs.
  A horse has two legs in back and forelegs in front....
• This is a true story told by a friend of mine. It happened to a girl she knew.
  There was this girl driving along the highway, when she suddely had to visit the restroom....
• Can You Give Me A Push? A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door.
  He rolls over and looks at the clock, and it's half past three in the morning....