Related:

• Hilarious Flight Information from the Airline Employees Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the "in-flight safety lecture" and their other announcements a bit more entertaining.
  Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported...
• At a party, the hostess served a politician a cup of punch and told him it was spiked.
  Next, she served some to a minister. "I would rather commit adultery than allow liquor to pass my lips," he proclaimed....
• A Baptist minister and a Jewish rabbi were seated next to one another in the first class section of an airplane.
  The stewardess approached them and asked what they wanted to drink....
• Airplane Humor Here are some actual humorous statements by several airline flights crews.
  Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the "in-flight safety lecture" a bit more entertaining....
• How about that footage on the news yesterday of our new Commander-in- Chief on the deck of the aircraft carrier (Teddy Roosevelt?
  ).. After throwing one of his snappy salutes (he's *almost* got that down), I half expected him to give the order, "Let's turn this thang around....
• The President Of The Bank Of Canada... A little old lady went into the Bank of Canada one day, carrying a bag of money.
  She insisted that she must speak with the president of the bank to open a savings account because, "It's a lot of money!...
• THE LITTLE OLD LADY AND THE BET A little old lady went into the Bank of Canada one day, carrying a bag of money.
  She insisted that she must speak with the president of the bank to open a savings account because, "It's a lot of money!...
• A Scary Ride A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport.
  After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking....
• The apocryphal friend-of-a-friend brought a can of chunky beef stew on board an airliner.
  At some point he emptied the contents into the barf bag....