Related:

• While looking for a Real Job (read: technical writing), I've been paying the bills doing medical transcription work.
  I came across a book today called "The Empty Laugh Book" by the American Association for Medical Transcription, containing some of the funniest dictated and transcribed quotes from the world of medicine that I've ever encountered....
• HOW FAT WAS SHE????? 1) She was so fat that I had to run her down 'cause I didn't think I had enough gas to drive around her.
  2) She was so fat, we would take her to MacDonalds to watch the numbers change....
• HIS AND HIRSUTISM Hair. Heads up, my fellow male Marchers.
  Get ready to temporarily ride the new permanent wave, as yet another panacea for male pattern baldness heads for the marketplace....
• Various Nights Before Christmas... A Microsoft Christmas 'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house Not a creature was stirring, except Papa's mouse.
  The computer was humming, the icons were hopping, As Papa did last minute Internet shopping....
• Madge had been lonely for many years after her husband's death.
  She decided she wanted to get married again. But, she didn't know any eligible men....
• Sign from above... A lady about seven months pregnant got on a bus.
  She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her....
• Diary of a Snow Shoveler: December 8: 6:00 PM. It started to snow.
  The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven....
• HOW TO KILL A SOUTH DAKOTA EEL Little Johnny and the other boys his age were hearing quite a bit about dating from the older boys, and wondering what it was all about and how it was done.
  One day, Johnny decided to take these questions to his mother who became quite flustered....
• When I was in a six person suite of rooms, one of my room mates was a witch, and by coincidence, another room mate had a key to his room.
  One night the witch room mate returned to find that all six calendars in his room were set to October, and there was a pentagram of pencils on his desk....