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  I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her....
• RODNEY DANGERFIELD'S BEST ONE-LINERS A girl phoned me the other day and said .
  ... Come on over, there's nobody home. I went over....
• Taglines: WHO, WHAT, WHERE, WHEN, WHY, HOW What are you doing?
  !? The message is over,GO AWAY! What can you do for me?...
• Source: A Dutch cook-book Maitre de Cuisine (Chief Cook) of a famous restaurant to a salesperson in the Stationery Departme
  "Do you have 97 of these 'Get Well Soon'-cards ?...
• You've got the whitest teeth I've ever come across.
  .... %end of list------------- Female to guy: Hi, you look like a real wanker....
• ObJoke: This guy goes to Texas on vacation. (No, that's not the punchline.
  ) When he's ready to leave the airport, he hails a cab, but a stretch limo pulls up....
• Once upon a time there was a sperm named Stanley who lived inside a famous movie actor.
  Stanley was a very healthy sperm. He'd do pushups and somersaults and limber himself up all the time, while the other sperm just lay around on their fat asses not doing a thing....
• Painful Puns Hangover: The wrath of grapes. Income Tax
  Capital punishment. A used car is not always what it's jacked up to be....
• Computer Geeks Unite! ..Are you STILL a computer geek?
  Ok, so you lucked out last time - you were about as socially adjusted as a onion and jelly sandwhich, BUT YOU MIGHT HAVE CHANGED!...