Related:

• Did you hear? Ray Charles was involved in a car accident last Friday.
  Ray, in shock, was taken to the hospital. Because of severe injuries, the left leg had to be amputated....
• How about that footage on the news yesterday of our new Commander-in- Chief on the deck of the aircraft carrier (Teddy Roosevelt?
  ).. After throwing one of his snappy salutes (he's *almost* got that down), I half expected him to give the order, "Let's turn this thang around....
• Good News, Bad News One day The Lord came to Adam to pass on some news.
  'I've got some good news and some bad news', The Lord said....
• Doctor to patient in hospital: "Mr Jones, I have some good news, and I have some bad news, which shall I tell first?
  "Do begin with the bad news, please." "Allright....
• A man was very shy, and couldn't speak to more than two people at a time without getting nervous.
  His boss and wife both suggested that he take an Andrew Carnegie course....
• When I was in a six person suite of rooms, one of my room mates was a witch, and by coincidence, another room mate had a key to his room.
  One night the witch room mate returned to find that all six calendars in his room were set to October, and there was a pentagram of pencils on his desk....
• The Poles have a saying about how communist governments rewrite history
  "Only the future is certain; the past is always changing" A would-be bandit failed because he had written a holdup up note on another bank's withdrawal slip....
• The ark lands after The Flood. Noah lets all the animals out.
  Says, "Go and multiply." Several months pass. Noah decides to check up on the animals....
• The doctor comes in with the results of the mans checkup and says, I've got good news and bad news.
  The man says, give me the bad news first. The doctor says, the bad news is you have AIDS....