Related:

• Custody trial A husband and wife were getting a divorce, and so they were told to take their child to the judge so he could decide who would get custody.
  After reaching the judges office the judge looked at the child and said, "I'm going to let your mother take care of you....
• Want some candy, little girl?
• So, little boy, who in your family do you look like?
  "I look like my father!" "Ah, I see! And you little girl, which one of your parents do you look like?...
• A judge in a semi-small city was hearing a drunk-driving case and the defendent, who had both a record and a reputation for driving under the influence, demanded a jury trial.
  It was nearly 4 p.m. and getting a jury would take time, so the judge called a recess and went out in the hall looking to impanel anyone available for jury duty....
• The 3 bears The three bears had been having some trouble recently and had ended up in family court.
  Momma and Poppa bear were splitting up, and baby bear had to decide who he was going to live with....
• A little boy and a little girl are playing. The little boy pulls down his shorts and says, "*I* have one of these and you *don't*.
  The little girl starts crying and crying and runs home to her mother....
• You've got the whitest teeth I've ever come across.
  .... %end of list------------- Female to guy: Hi, you look like a real wanker....
• Once upon a time there was a sperm named Stanley who lived inside a famous movie actor.
  Stanley was a very healthy sperm. He'd do pushups and somersaults and limber himself up all the time, while the other sperm just lay around on their fat asses not doing a thing....
• A college student picked up his date at her parents home.
  He'd scraped together every cent he had to take her to a fancy restaurant....