Related:

• We're sorry. You have reached an imaginary number. Please rotate your phone 90 degrees and try again.
• The number you have dialed is imaginary. Please, rotate your phone by 90 degrees and try again...
• The Canonical List of Telephone Answering Machine Messages "Hi!
  I don't exist at the moment, but if you leave your message, name and number, I'll call you back when I am....
• If AOL were a City -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- - You'd live in a place where no two people had the same name
  and all were h0t 17/f cheerleaders with a fetish for pierced gay Dobermans in spandex....
• Calling Technical Support.... Ring... Ring... Ring.
  .. Ring... Ring... Ring... Ring... Ring... Ring....
• Letter to the Bank Manager Dear Bank Manager, I am writing to thank you for bouncing the check with which I endeavored to pay my plumber last month.
  By my calculations some three nanoseconds must have elapsed between his presenting the check, and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honor it....
• GETTING RID OF TELEMARKETERS... ** If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.
  ** If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problem...
• Hi, you have reached .... Please leave your name, phone number and a message and if we like it we will return your call".