Related:

• Answering machines. Nowadays almost everyone has one, complete with a snappymessage of their own device.
  Wait for the beep and then read on. This is a short adaptation of Simon Butler-White's and Clive Archer's "could-be" phone messages released in Australian Cleo, August 1989....
• You've got the whitest teeth I've ever come across.
  .... %end of list------------- Female to guy: Hi, you look like a real wanker....
• When I was taking a 300 level computer science class in college there was a girl in the class that was a good friend of mine
  he was one of those people that was accademiclly briliant with zero common scence....
• W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l
  < -if you have to ask get out of the way- Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
• Q: What does NASA stand for?  A: Need Another Seven Astronauts  0, unseen,, *** EOOH *** Date
  Tue, 30 Oct 90 17:08:46 EST From: raf@minnie.cs.su....
• Fresh Every 2.7 Days PEE YU PLATTER Clothes Pins Extra HOO FLUNG POO Napkins & Raincoats Provided SUC SUM TIT Children's Special YUNG POON TANG No Take Out Orders Accepted LUNCHEON SPECIALS SUM YUNG CHICK.
  .........$6.99 Different and Delicious WON HUNG LO....
• A man was very shy, and couldn't speak to more than two people at a time without getting nervous.
  His boss and wife both suggested that he take an Andrew Carnegie course....
• Doctor Vs. Mechanic Larry was removing some engine valves from a car on the lift when he spotted the famous heart surgeon Dr.
  Bill Johnson, who was standing off to the side, waiting for the service manager....
• The ark lands after The Flood. Noah lets all the animals out.
  Says, "Go and multiply." Several months pass. Noah decides to check up on the animals....