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• There were two morons that wanted to go hunting. They went out into the woods and after a while decided to split up.
  One went one way and the other went another way. As this joke would have it, one of the morons shot the other moron by mistake....
• Well, there was this guy who'd been living a really great life as an art dealer in New York City, making tons of money and everything.
  He was 30 and fixed for life, a millionaire, when he went to the doctor and found out that he had a very rare bone disease that was sure to kill him before he reached 31....
• The ark lands after The Flood. Noah lets all the animals out.
  Says, "Go and multiply." Several months pass. Noah decides to check up on the animals....
• Annual checkup An 80-year old man was having his annual checkup and the doctor asked him how he was feeling.
  "I've never been better!" he boasted."I've got an eighteen year old bride who's pregnant and having my child!...
• Who Killed The Bear... An 85 year old man was having his annual checkup and the doctor asked him how he was feeling.
  "I've never been better!" he boasted. "I've got an eighteen year old bride who's pregnant and having my child!...
• W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l
  < -if you have to ask get out of the way- Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
• Punny 1. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft it sank-proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.
  2. Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor....
• A $1 million last wish An elderly gentleman, quite well to do, realized that his life was turning down the final stretch, so he summoned the three friends that he trusted the most for some advice
  a doctor, a priest, and an attorney. "I've been thinking lately," he said to them, "that perhaps there is something to the ancient Egyptian belief that when we die, we take some things with us to the next world....
• A woman from the south was attending a social gathering up north and tried striking up a conversation .
  .. "Where're you all from?" she asked to a group of ladies....