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• There's this guy in a bar that's saying he knows everybody, and will bet anybody on it.
  So this guy walks up and says, "I bet you don't know Burt Rynolds....
• The Shephard... A shepherd was herding his flocks in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand new Jeep Cherokee advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.
  The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and a YSL tie leaned out of the window and asked our shepherd...
• 125 Things Never To Say During Sex 1)is it in? 2)that's it?
  3)you've got to be kidding me. 4)(phone rings) hello?...
• Stupid People... Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say, "I'm Stupid".
  That way you wouldn't rely on them, would you? You wouldn't ask them anything....
• A 5-year-old girl gets a kitten for her birthday. Soon thereafter, the Mom, while getting into the car slams the door on the kitten, killing it in front of her daughter.
  Mom explains that "this is life", accidents happen, we learn from our mistakes, and so on....
• A little old lady goes into the Chase Manhattan Bank, and says she wants to open a savings account.
  The accounts person asks her how much she would like to deposit to open the account and the little old lady says, "Three million dollars....
• ObJoke: This guy goes to Texas on vacation. (No, that's not the punchline.
  ) When he's ready to leave the airport, he hails a cab, but a stretch limo pulls up....
• A tribe of Native Americans generally referred to their woman by the animal hide with which they made their blanket.
  Thus, one woman might be known as Squaw of Buffalo Hide, while another might be known as Squaw of Deer Hide....
• A man goes to the psychiatrist a nervous wreck. The shrink tells him to sit down and explain his problem.
  He says, "Well, doc, I keep having this dream where I am at this party full of people and I look across the room and there is a beautiful blonde woman and she walks over and our hands touch and instantly we are alone in a room, naked....