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• There once was a guy named Benny. He was sitting in the bleachers at Fenway one day when Wade Boggs hit a homerun.
  He told the guy next to him, Eddie, that he knew everyone....
• Various Nights Before Christmas... A Microsoft Christmas 'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house Not a creature was stirring, except Papa's mouse.
  The computer was humming, the icons were hopping, As Papa did last minute Internet shopping....
• The President Of The Bank Of Canada... A little old lady went into the Bank of Canada one day, carrying a bag of money.
  She insisted that she must speak with the president of the bank to open a savings account because, "It's a lot of money!...
• THE LITTLE OLD LADY AND THE BET A little old lady went into the Bank of Canada one day, carrying a bag of money.
  She insisted that she must speak with the president of the bank to open a savings account because, "It's a lot of money!...
• How about that footage on the news yesterday of our new Commander-in- Chief on the deck of the aircraft carrier (Teddy Roosevelt?
  ).. After throwing one of his snappy salutes (he's *almost* got that down), I half expected him to give the order, "Let's turn this thang around....
• YOUR NEW OFFICIAL TAX FORM 1. Enter your social security numbe
  ___-__-____ 2. How much money did you make last year?...
• DAN QUAYLE QUOTES: Dan Quayle, as quoted in The Washington Po
  "I've been blessed with wonderful parents and a wonderful family, and I am proud of my family....
• NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE To the citizens of the United States of America
  In the light of your failure to elect a President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today....
• Eugene d'Albert (noted German composer) was married six times.
  At an evening reception which he attended with his fifth wife shortly after their wedding, he presented the lady to a friend who said politely, "Congratulations, Herr d'Albe...