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• A true story... There is this very large lovable dog who is named "U2" because he is always flying over the fence like a rocket.
  A lady was showing a couple around her garage sale, when U2 jumps over the fence and wanders into the garage....
• THE DARWIN AWARDS Date: December,1997 The Darwin Award is made each year to the person who has managed to kill themselves (and therefore prevent the survival of their genes - hence Darwin!
  ) in the most bizarre way imaginable. Previous winners have included the man killed when the vending machine he was trying to extract a can of Coke from fell on him, and last years aviator who strapped a JATO module (rocket) to his car and lit the blue touchpaper....
• The Wizard of Zone Once upon a time in Depression-era Kansas there was a little black boy named Zachary X (pronounced "ex" not "ten") who lived on a farm.
  He was an orphan, a cheap device to garner your sympathy....
• There is a married couple with two children. To avoid corrupting the children's minds, the couple uses the word "laundry" to represent sex.
  One night, the man rolls over to the wife and says "Honey, would you like to do laundry tonight?...
• Doctor Vs. Mechanic Larry was removing some engine valves from a car on the lift when he spotted the famous heart surgeon Dr.
  Bill Johnson, who was standing off to the side, waiting for the service manager....
• Jerk! Now get this. I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had to make.
  I found the number and dialed it. A man answered nicely saying, "Hello?...
• A 5-year-old girl gets a kitten for her birthday. Soon thereafter, the Mom, while getting into the car slams the door on the kitten, killing it in front of her daughter.
  Mom explains that "this is life", accidents happen, we learn from our mistakes, and so on....
• A rock band's drummer thought he would make a good policman, he was use to pounding a beat.
  A man was taken to the polic station and asked to confess, they showed him his fingerprints, and those found at the crime....
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