Related:

• Paybacks Are a Bitch There was this little boy about 12 years old walking down the sidewalk pulling a wagon and dragging a flattened frog on a string behind i
  when he comes up to the doorstep of a house of ill repute....
• You can't go home again, unless you set $HOME
• She (to passing man): Excuse me, do you have the time?
  He: Do you have the energy? What is your favorite position on extramarital sex?...
• Top 30 Ways to Simulate Being in the Navy when You're at Home 1.
  Lock all friends and family outside. Your only means of communication should be with letters that your neighbours have held for at least three weeks, discarding two of five....
• Your place or mine? Both. You go to your place, and I'll go to mine.
• YOU'RE PROBABLY A REDNECK IF .................... YOU'RE PROBABLY A REDNECK IF .
  ................... When you take your trash to the dump and you return home with more stuff than you left with....
• MIND GAMES DOGS PLAY WITH HUMANS 1. After your humans give you a bath, DON'T LET THEM TOWEL DRY YOU!
  Instead, run to their bed, jump up and dry yourself off on the sheets....
• Mind Games Dogs Play With Humans ** After your humans give you a bath, DON'T LET THEM TOWEL DRY YOU!
  Instead, run to their bed, jump up and dry yourself off on the sheets....
• One day when Ernie was about six, before he learned about being dirty, he was pestering his mom while she tried to do the housework.
  She said, "Why don't you go across the street and watch them building the new apartments?...