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• YOU KNOW YOU'RE TOO SERIOUS ABOUT COMPUTERS... If you did an error-free installation of Windows 95.
  When your modem starts smoking. If no one can reach you by phone since your computer is always online....
• TOP 118 REASONS WHY IT'S ACCEPTABLE TO DATE A NERD 1) His shoelaces are hardly ever untied 2) Doesn't pick his nose in public 3) Has never put a red shirt in with the whites 4) Was not directly responsible for the Holocaust 5) When getting off an elevator at a 20+ story building
  he doesn't push all the buttons so everyone has to stop at every floor 6) Elvis is dead and Bob Saget is married...
• YOU MIGHT BE AN ENGINEER IF... A team of you and your co-workers have set out to modify the antenna on the radio in your work area for better reception All your sentences begin with "what if" At Christma
  it goes without saying that you will be the one to find the burnt-out bulb in the string Buying flowers for your girlfriend or spending the money to upgrade your RAM is a moral dilemma Dilbert is your hero Everyone else on the Alaskan cruise is on deck peering at the scenery, and you are still on a personal tour of the engine room In college you thought Spring Break was a metal fatigue failure On vacation, you are reading a computer manual and turning the pages faster than someone else who is reading a John Grisham novel People groan at the party when you pick out the music The blinking 12...
• One thought driven home is better than three left on base.
• 1. My kids are locked outside. 2. My kids are locked inside.
  3. My kids are stuck in the door. 4. I have to help my grandmother bake cookies....
• Q: Why are dogs better than kids? A: When you get sick of your dog, you can put it to sleep.
• YOU MAY BE AN ENGINEER 26) If you thought the concoction ET used to phone home was stupid 27) If you ever burned down the gymnasium with your Science Fair project 28) If you are currently gathering the components to build your own nuclear reactor 29) If you own one or more white short-sleeve dress shirts 30) If you have never backed-up your hard drive 31) If you are aware that computers are actually only good for playing game
  but are afraid to say it out loud 32) If you truly believe aliens are living among us 33) If you have ever saved the power cord from a broken appliance 34) If you have ever purchased an electronic appliance "as-is" 35) If you see a good design and still have to change it 36) If the salespeople at Circuit City can't answer any of your questions 37) If you still own a slide rule and you know how to work it 38) If the thought that a CD could refer to finance or music never enters your mind 39) If you own a set of itty-bitty screw drivers, but you don't remember where they are 40) If you rotate your screen savers more frequently than your automobile tires 41) If you have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster you own turns bread into charcoal 42) If you have more toys than your kids 43) If you need a checklist to turn on the TV 44) If you have introduced your kids by the wrong name 45) If your wife thinks your taste in ties is bizarre 46) If you have a habit of destroying things in order to see how they work 47) If your I....
• YOU MAY BE AN ENGINEER 1 ) If you introduce your wife as "mylady@home.
• A Modern home is a place where a switch controls everything but the kids, and it has gadgets to do everything except make the payments.