Related:

• She (to passing man): Excuse me, do you have the time?
  He: Do you have the energy? What is your favorite position on extramarital sex?...
• A list of classic pick=-up lines =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- I'll suck you so hard that you'll have to pick the sheets out of your *ss when I'm finished.
  That dress would look awfully nice on the floor next to my bed....
• BE A KID AGAIN.... Give yourself a gold star for everything you do today.
  Dot all your "i"'s with smiley faces Sing into your hairbrush Grow a milk mustache Smile back at the man in the moon Read the funnies Throw the rest of the paper away Dunk your cookies Ask somebody if their refrigerator is running Play a game where you make up the rules as you go along Order with eyes that are bigger than your stomach Open a pack of cupcakes and give one to a friend even though you wanted both of them for yourself Pretend your bread rolls are tap dancing Step carefully over sidewalk cracks Change into some play clothes Try to get someone to trade you a better sandwich Have a staring contest with your cat Eat ice cream for breakfast Kiss a frog just in case Give someone a "Hug-around-the-neck" Blow the wrapper off a straw Refuse to eat crusts Make a face the next time somebody tells you "no" Watch TV in your pajamas Ask "Why?...
• An Australian woman's car was involved in a motor accident.
  A policeman asked what gear she was in. "Can't you see for yourself?...
• THE ITALIAN WHO WENT TO MALTA (Must be read with an Italian accent) One day ima gonna Malta to bigga hotel.
  Ina morning I go down to eat breakfast. I tella waitress I wanna two pissis toast....
• Italian Jokes - THE ITALIAN WHO WENT TO DETROIT - Ona day Ima got to Detroit to a big hotel.
  Ina morning I go down to eat breakfast. I tella da waitress I wanna two piss's toast....
• THE ITALIAN WHO WENT TO DETROIT One day ima go to Detroit to a bigga hotel.
  Igo down to eat breakfast. I tella the waitress, "I wanna two piss's toast....
• Stupid People... Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say, "I'm Stupid".
  That way you wouldn't rely on them, would you? You wouldn't ask them anything....
• Barbie's Letter To Santa: Dear Santa, Listen you cheery old ma
  I've been saving your butt every year, being the perfect Christmas Present, wearing skimpy bathing suits in December and dressing in fake fur at sappy tea parties....