Related:

• A man walks into a cake shop, goes up to the counter and asks for a doughnut.
  The assistant picks up a pair of silver tongs, retrieves a doughnut and places it on a dish....
• A guy was driving home one evening when he suddenly realizes that it is his daughter's birthday and that he hasn't bought her anything.
  Out the corner of his eye he sees a shopping mall....
• YOU KNOW YOU NEED AN UPGRADE... when Microsoft tech support picks up the phone before Windows 95 finishes booting when you call tech support and they say your version of software has been obsolete for 5 years when that bright idea you had of pounding a 3-1/4" disk thin so it'll fit in the 5-1/4" slot didn't quite work when the bad blocks on your disk outnumber the good ones if your PC is big enough to use as an end table if it's so old that you can't even find a nonprofit organization that will take it as a donation when you can no longer find those special metallic cassette tapes when everyone's raving about hooking their computers up to the television and you'd never used any other kind of monitor hey
  I'm NOT upgrading my VIC 20, OK?!!! when your calculator has more RAM than your computer when your watch has more RAM than your computer when you realize that they don't use tapes anymore when it takes a Chevy pickup to haul your disk drive away when you're getting bored of those stupid Atari games like Frogger when your computer doesn't give you "nice" system errors like "Bad Command or file name" and instead formats your hard drive when you're getting tired of typing in ones and zeros when your abacus gets termites when "Solitaire" only has enough memory to use half the deck when you get the error message "Don't open so many goddam Windows at once!...
• YOU KNOW YOU'RE TOO SERIOUS ABOUT COMPUTERS... If you did an error-free installation of Windows 95.
  When your modem starts smoking. If no one can reach you by phone since your computer is always online....
• This is a true story from the WordPerfect help line.
  Needless to say the help desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for "Termination without Cause"....
• The WordPerfect Help Line... (a little old...but still good) This is a true story from the WordPerfect help line.
  Needless, to say the help desk employee was fired...
• Dumb & Dumber ** A medical student was doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center.
  A woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants....
• When I was in a six person suite of rooms, one of my room mates was a witch, and by coincidence, another room mate had a key to his room.
  One night the witch room mate returned to find that all six calendars in his room were set to October, and there was a pentagram of pencils on his desk....
• A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car.
  He later received in the mail a ticket for $40, and a photo of his car....