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• Well what is it you want? We want..... A SHRUBBERY!!!!
• Rules that guys wished girls knew ** If you think you're fat, you probably are.
  Don't ask us. ** Learn to work the toilet seat. When the lid is up, put it down....
• Forgive us, for we know not what we do. Not that we CARE or anything.
• THINGS YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR DURING SURGERY Ooooops!
  Let me ask your opinion, nurse... Has anyone ever seen one of THESE?...
• POLITICAL SPEECH OF A LADY DELEGATE TO A NATIONAL POLITICAL CONVENTION Dear Lady Delegate
  We must have what the men have. It may not be very long, But we mean to have it....
• Golfing and the Genie A couple were golfing one day on a very exclusive golf course, lined with million-dollar houses.
  On the third tee the husband said "Honey, be very careful when you drive the ball....
• AN IRISH BULL IS ALWAYS PREGNANT It's time throw some bull -- not just any kind of bull, but an Irish bull.
  And while we're at it, let's throw a whole herd of Irish bulls....
• If you want the truth, all this controversy about whether there should be leaded gasoline exhausts us.
• Can You Give Me A Push? A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door.
  He rolls over and looks at the clock, and it's half past three in the morning....