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• Q: What's the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist?
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• Good friends are your CHOSEN family.
• MICHAEL KENNEDY What's the difference between John Denver and Michael Kennedy?
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  ... In your wedding picture you have a toothpick in your mouth....
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• You know you're a redneck if your car window is a Hefty bag.
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• Ask your roommate if your family can move in "just for a couple of weeks.