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• Everything I do is needlessly violent and enormously irresponsible.
• Teacher: I hope I didn't see you looking at Don's paper. Little Johnny: I hope you didn't, too.
• Knock knock Who's there? Don Juan Don Juan who? I Don Juan to set the world on fire!
• Please Mr. Custard, I don' wanna gel ...
• Don't blame me...I voted for myself.
• Can I blame my spelling on Line Noise?
• While looking for a Real Job (read: technical writing), I've been paying the bills doing medical transcription work.
  I came across a book today called "The Empty Laugh Book" by the American Association for Medical Transcription, containing some of the funniest dictated and transcribed quotes from the world of medicine that I've ever encountered....
• Republican Complaints About Newt Gingrich 10. Spends too much time at his side job as the Pillsbury Dough Boy 9.
  Tired of him dividing Congress into shirts and skins 8....
• Crime, Sex, Alcohol, Drugs... God, I love Congre