Related:

• You are so ugly that if you sent your picture to the Lonely Hearts Club, they would be sent back with the explanation that they are lonely - not desperate.
• Unknown Another desperate "football widow" recited an item in the local newspa- pe
  A husband who loved the sport so much that he traded his wife for a season ticket....
• Recorded phone company message saying number is disconnected playing in the background while the owner is arguing with it like thi
  Hey don't say that, it is connected .. No please, I paid all my bills ....
• IS SANTA A WOMAN? I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe he's a she.
  Think about it. Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing, social deal, and I have a tough time believing a guy ( and a "straight' guy at that!...
• Okay!! Here's one I haven't seen: Get a list on the free classified throwaways in town and print the following
  RED 86 Vette: Won on game show, must sell, leaving country....
• Rome Doctor's Office: Specialist in women and other diseases.
• Need Water! An traveler was stumbling through the desert, desperate for water, then he saw something, far off in the distance.
  Hoping to find water, he walked towards the image, only to find a little old peddler sitting at a card table with a bunch of neckties laid out....
• A Floral Apology... A man stopped at a florist shop after work to pick up roses for his wife.
  As the clerk was putting the finishing touches on his bouquet, another man burst through the door, breathlessly requesting a dozen red roses....
• A man went to see a doctor because of a very high, squeaky, annoying voice.
  The doctor examined him, and told him that the only way would be to replace his extremely large penis with a smaller one....